The night envelops me
its tendrils stretching out to embrace
it hopes to console
it has noble intentions
and why not? it has done it before
little does it know that the darkness is no longer comforting
the air contains no warmth
where the heart is empty and without cheer
where the tormented still loves the tormentor
the night is no solace
it brings instead memories of days long gone
of days wasted, of warm thoughts for the loved one
all in vain,
for when the night came it was long and dark
thick and dense,
and although there is light at the other end
it is rarely seen, its warmth rarely felt
Incomplete as much as I may feel
there is nothing that can be done
the feeling must be borne
the night must be braved
one can only hope
that the day will be long and filled with sunshine
and laughter and all things bright
Do you, but, not fear that the day might be too short?
that night may, yet again, rush in with its steely arms
and that it probably loves you so, that it might not want to let go.
Hell, I am an optimist..
and I think I might fall in love with the night!
Friday, October 5, 2007
Friday, September 21, 2007
Pushing one's limits - an amazing way of life!
Its 5.30 AM. almost 3/4 of our batch is still up writing research proposals!
This simply HAS to be the last day to this term!!
What a term this has been! from never ending media classes and brand science lectures to curriculum change rules, to lost laptops and "the great house arrest of 2007" to late night WYWI sessions to the furore over the placecomm, this term has been my best at MICA.
A batch meeting that was called by the placecomm at 4 AM has just ended.But the day is far from over. The very last bit of submissions for this term (and the biggest one) is yet to be turned in. The reading room of the library never looked more crowded. And in this state of broken body and tired mind and incoherent thoughts, I once again reiterate that this simply HAS to be the last day of the term. We are leaving for our rural research this afternoon. I am saying "this afternoon" but it still feels like "tomorrow" afternoon, cos on this planet called MICA, a new day never starts until after you have slept at least a couple of hours in the early morning.
I cannot remember how many days it has been since we have been toiling away on classes, long days of playing the online marketing simulation game markstrat to creating a simulated retail store on campus, to writing 2 exams to writing the research proposal.
I think it has been 5. I might be wrong.
At MICA, time is simply suspended. Weekends have no meaning, weekdays are not special either. What holds, simply, is your ability to push your physical, mental and emotional limits as you exist far away from civilisation.
This is my home, this is my family for now...and this is my way of life. I am coming to love it as each day passes and although sometimes, I scream my lungs out and say I want to run away to the "cool" refuge of bangalore and home, I know really that I wouldn't miss even one day of the action on campus.
I shall end here as there yet remains a couple of hours of sleep, a lot of thoughtful packing, polishing and submission of the research proposal, and last minute things to get before the journey to be crammed into about 8 hours.
However, if I were to make one closing statement, it would be this:
This is the only way to live!!
This simply HAS to be the last day to this term!!
What a term this has been! from never ending media classes and brand science lectures to curriculum change rules, to lost laptops and "the great house arrest of 2007" to late night WYWI sessions to the furore over the placecomm, this term has been my best at MICA.
A batch meeting that was called by the placecomm at 4 AM has just ended.But the day is far from over. The very last bit of submissions for this term (and the biggest one) is yet to be turned in. The reading room of the library never looked more crowded. And in this state of broken body and tired mind and incoherent thoughts, I once again reiterate that this simply HAS to be the last day of the term. We are leaving for our rural research this afternoon. I am saying "this afternoon" but it still feels like "tomorrow" afternoon, cos on this planet called MICA, a new day never starts until after you have slept at least a couple of hours in the early morning.
I cannot remember how many days it has been since we have been toiling away on classes, long days of playing the online marketing simulation game markstrat to creating a simulated retail store on campus, to writing 2 exams to writing the research proposal.
I think it has been 5. I might be wrong.
At MICA, time is simply suspended. Weekends have no meaning, weekdays are not special either. What holds, simply, is your ability to push your physical, mental and emotional limits as you exist far away from civilisation.
This is my home, this is my family for now...and this is my way of life. I am coming to love it as each day passes and although sometimes, I scream my lungs out and say I want to run away to the "cool" refuge of bangalore and home, I know really that I wouldn't miss even one day of the action on campus.
I shall end here as there yet remains a couple of hours of sleep, a lot of thoughtful packing, polishing and submission of the research proposal, and last minute things to get before the journey to be crammed into about 8 hours.
However, if I were to make one closing statement, it would be this:
This is the only way to live!!
Saturday, September 1, 2007
Sunday? wo kya hota hai?
Sunday morning 11.30 am. Got up at 10.30 am and rushed to class. Presentations going on in class…now the whole case is making some sense to me!
And hence, the burning question in my mind is:
Sunday, wo kya hota hai?
Snapshots from Hell
September 2nd, 6.38 am IST ( dont know wht the blog is saying 1st september - its probably US time)
When I was thinking of doing my MBA, someone recommended the book snapshots from hell to me. It is a must read for every MBA aspirant. Basically it talks about how hectic MBA life is.
And although MICA is not your conventional B-School, life gets veryyy busy here too. The first term of the second year has been filled with Media courses.
Would like to share with you a day in the life of a MICAn.
What did I do today? and by today I mean 1st and 2nd september cos I havent gone to bed yet.
Got up at 10, having gone to bed at 3 after having sent in a case study for a contest and then having taken a bath at 2.30am, realised that I had forgotten that I had a product management class at 9 am. Anyways..so the next class started at 10.30..so dashed straight to class. Class goes on till 6.15 pm. with 15-20 min breaks in between and a 40 min lunch break. The subject is Strategic Media Planning, basically, media planning is about planning where you will advertise and how much. But it isnt as simple as it sounds. So The prof, an ex-MICAn, in his great enthusiasm overloads us with more info than we can digest in 2 days. He taught us, apparently, how to make a business plan.
Then he handed over a case study for us to do overnight..which he claimed, would take 3 hours to do. I had estimated 5-6. So, I relaxed a bit and then went on to paint a long overdue picture on my friend's room door. Finished at 9 p.m. Had dinner. Went for a stroll for 10 mins. The group was supposed to meet at 10 cos 2 ppl from our group are in the placement committee and they had a meeting. But we started at 11 as they finished their meeting then.
Started off with no clue what to do..the assignment brief was vague to say the least and the data insufficient. Just finished the PPT at 6 am. 6 of us were left finally. And here, I must salute our hard working placecomm team mates who stayed till the very end!! Here's to the MICAn spirit!!
And now...off to bed. Have a class in 4 hours.
When I was thinking of doing my MBA, someone recommended the book snapshots from hell to me. It is a must read for every MBA aspirant. Basically it talks about how hectic MBA life is.
And although MICA is not your conventional B-School, life gets veryyy busy here too. The first term of the second year has been filled with Media courses.
Would like to share with you a day in the life of a MICAn.
What did I do today? and by today I mean 1st and 2nd september cos I havent gone to bed yet.
Got up at 10, having gone to bed at 3 after having sent in a case study for a contest and then having taken a bath at 2.30am, realised that I had forgotten that I had a product management class at 9 am. Anyways..so the next class started at 10.30..so dashed straight to class. Class goes on till 6.15 pm. with 15-20 min breaks in between and a 40 min lunch break. The subject is Strategic Media Planning, basically, media planning is about planning where you will advertise and how much. But it isnt as simple as it sounds. So The prof, an ex-MICAn, in his great enthusiasm overloads us with more info than we can digest in 2 days. He taught us, apparently, how to make a business plan.
Then he handed over a case study for us to do overnight..which he claimed, would take 3 hours to do. I had estimated 5-6. So, I relaxed a bit and then went on to paint a long overdue picture on my friend's room door. Finished at 9 p.m. Had dinner. Went for a stroll for 10 mins. The group was supposed to meet at 10 cos 2 ppl from our group are in the placement committee and they had a meeting. But we started at 11 as they finished their meeting then.
Started off with no clue what to do..the assignment brief was vague to say the least and the data insufficient. Just finished the PPT at 6 am. 6 of us were left finally. And here, I must salute our hard working placecomm team mates who stayed till the very end!! Here's to the MICAn spirit!!
And now...off to bed. Have a class in 4 hours.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
nothing!
Why? oh why do I do it??
Why does it refuse to go away...
leave me in peace!!!!
why these dreadful nights when everything comes back to you. why cant it just disappear? Its like walking willingly into quicksand. It attracts me. I want to walk into it. And drown...
How stupid is that. Don't I have a life of my own? why should it be indebted to someone?Why should I not be able to be a complete person in my own right? why should it still haunt me?
Am I not the stupidest person in the world? Who in their right mind would long for something that refused to come to them. Mirage: thats what it was. And like a fool, I keep wanting to catch it. The biggest crime in this world is to be naive. To trust. To get hurt. And want to get hurt over and over again. I inflict it upon myself. I know. No one in their senses would go on like this for months. Its gone. It was never there. don't you understand. And the more you look for it, the farther it goes. And yet it attracts. It stalks its prey. Its on the prowl at night. It catches you off guard. In the middle of a conversation. In the middle of a class. And then it rips you apart. It hurts like hell. It frustrates. It brings out the negativity in you. It leaves you famished. It kills you bit by bit.
and you are stupid enough to let it walk over you.
Why does it refuse to go away...
leave me in peace!!!!
why these dreadful nights when everything comes back to you. why cant it just disappear? Its like walking willingly into quicksand. It attracts me. I want to walk into it. And drown...
How stupid is that. Don't I have a life of my own? why should it be indebted to someone?Why should I not be able to be a complete person in my own right? why should it still haunt me?
Am I not the stupidest person in the world? Who in their right mind would long for something that refused to come to them. Mirage: thats what it was. And like a fool, I keep wanting to catch it. The biggest crime in this world is to be naive. To trust. To get hurt. And want to get hurt over and over again. I inflict it upon myself. I know. No one in their senses would go on like this for months. Its gone. It was never there. don't you understand. And the more you look for it, the farther it goes. And yet it attracts. It stalks its prey. Its on the prowl at night. It catches you off guard. In the middle of a conversation. In the middle of a class. And then it rips you apart. It hurts like hell. It frustrates. It brings out the negativity in you. It leaves you famished. It kills you bit by bit.
and you are stupid enough to let it walk over you.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Reach out
My mom once told me that in the first few hours after giving birth, one feels a big void, a physical sensation of emptiness. I think now of how another situation is similar to that feeling...
My heart feels a void. There is a big space that is empty. I want to reach out. I have an urge to speak to someone. I call family, friends. And yet..there is this feeling of something being missing. Wanting to talk to someone. I want to reach out. Some thing is missing. Something is missing.I feel incomplete. I feel incomplete.
I want to fill that space. Get rid of the void. Stop feeling it. Time heals all...it empties your mind of things that occupied it for long. Like sexy says in cheeni kum, pyar aansu banke beh jata hai.
But even time cant fill the void. It will be a part of my heart, my life forever, resisting any change. It stands testimony to a love so strong that it took a part of me along.
I will always sit under the stars at night and want to reach out. Will want to reach out.I am missing something. I feel incomplete.
My heart feels a void. There is a big space that is empty. I want to reach out. I have an urge to speak to someone. I call family, friends. And yet..there is this feeling of something being missing. Wanting to talk to someone. I want to reach out. Some thing is missing. Something is missing.I feel incomplete. I feel incomplete.
I want to fill that space. Get rid of the void. Stop feeling it. Time heals all...it empties your mind of things that occupied it for long. Like sexy says in cheeni kum, pyar aansu banke beh jata hai.
But even time cant fill the void. It will be a part of my heart, my life forever, resisting any change. It stands testimony to a love so strong that it took a part of me along.
I will always sit under the stars at night and want to reach out. Will want to reach out.I am missing something. I feel incomplete.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
One for the road
After a long day of being thoroughly jobless, I started the long ride back home.
17 Kms = 1 hour = one way
After being away from Bangalore for a year, I had come back to find discernibly more terrible traffic on Bangalore’s roads. Surprisingly I wasn’t feeling my usual depression looking at the state of Bangalore traffic. I suppose I am beginning to accept it as a way of life. Anyways so I am riding, inching along, rather and there was this car in front of me with a sticker that said:
My wife gives me 100% sound advice
99% sound and 1% advice
It elicited a laugh from me and I thought that those were 2 minutes well spent.
This gave me an idea. Since more and more of our time is being spent on the road, why not start looking at newer ways of being entertained on the road?
Cars could sport stickers that have jokes printed on them.
You can have LCD screens on the rear of the car that is displaying information; News, views, TV, movies. You can play table tennis on car tops, you can learn up entire lyrics of a particular song.
Imagine, you could have cooking recipes behind cars. That way you can read up the recipe while on your way back from work, reach home and cook!
Have you heard of the floating markets in Bangkok?
We could have our very own Traffic markets in Bangalore. They are open topped vehicles selling fruit, veggies etc! And as the traffic situation worsens and we can literally walk faster than drive, you will even have time to pick and choose veggies from this vehicle next to you, ask him to cut out a slice for trial and haggle with him over the prices! You could have such markets selling groceries, clothes.
Just imagine! The possibilities are endless!!
17 Kms = 1 hour = one way
After being away from Bangalore for a year, I had come back to find discernibly more terrible traffic on Bangalore’s roads. Surprisingly I wasn’t feeling my usual depression looking at the state of Bangalore traffic. I suppose I am beginning to accept it as a way of life. Anyways so I am riding, inching along, rather and there was this car in front of me with a sticker that said:
My wife gives me 100% sound advice
99% sound and 1% advice
It elicited a laugh from me and I thought that those were 2 minutes well spent.
This gave me an idea. Since more and more of our time is being spent on the road, why not start looking at newer ways of being entertained on the road?
Cars could sport stickers that have jokes printed on them.
You can have LCD screens on the rear of the car that is displaying information; News, views, TV, movies. You can play table tennis on car tops, you can learn up entire lyrics of a particular song.
Imagine, you could have cooking recipes behind cars. That way you can read up the recipe while on your way back from work, reach home and cook!
Have you heard of the floating markets in Bangkok?
We could have our very own Traffic markets in Bangalore. They are open topped vehicles selling fruit, veggies etc! And as the traffic situation worsens and we can literally walk faster than drive, you will even have time to pick and choose veggies from this vehicle next to you, ask him to cut out a slice for trial and haggle with him over the prices! You could have such markets selling groceries, clothes.
Just imagine! The possibilities are endless!!
Boredom busters
After having lived the life of an intern for 7 weeks, I have become an expert boredom buster.
So the Devil is is working overtime and you don't know what to do with the time on your hands?
You are reading just the right post! I can tell you how to spend that time "qualitatively"
The first thing I try to do is call up friends and bug them. Just got back from talking to one very dear friend of mine. I always feel happy after talking to him. He's the first and only guy I know who, like me, can laugh his head off at silly jokes. There are jokes that only the two of us find funnny. :)) (yeah..i know what ur thinking;) And we don't even need jokes to laugh!
Next best alternative: "eyesdrop" on people's conversations in Orkut. My project involved research on mobile usage patterns among young people. To develop a user profile, I visited the orkut profiles of lots of teenagers. Trust me theres lot you can gather about a species from their orkut profiles.
Google random people's names :) This is to be done at the height of boredom. I recently googled one particular person's name and stumbled upon this hilarious profile on a matrimonial site!
That brings me to the next point: Read profiles on matrimonial sites. From wanting a "proportionate girl" to wanting someone who can "lof" with the guy, its a range of interesting reads!!
Google: the most useful boredom buster! google up random topics like bipasha basu's dog's name for example and send the link to all your friends with a "did u know...?"
Read latest celebrity gossip: Who broke up with whom, who replaced whom in the movie, its a whole load of useless news.
You are at office and are really bored. Get into the elevator, ride down/up get out, get into the adjoining elevator and ride back. On the way look at people who are in the elevator with you and try n guess what they do, what they are thinking. Come back and compare notes with a jobless colleague.
And when you are mostest bored - read my blog.
So the Devil is is working overtime and you don't know what to do with the time on your hands?
You are reading just the right post! I can tell you how to spend that time "qualitatively"
The first thing I try to do is call up friends and bug them. Just got back from talking to one very dear friend of mine. I always feel happy after talking to him. He's the first and only guy I know who, like me, can laugh his head off at silly jokes. There are jokes that only the two of us find funnny. :)) (yeah..i know what ur thinking;) And we don't even need jokes to laugh!
Next best alternative: "eyesdrop" on people's conversations in Orkut. My project involved research on mobile usage patterns among young people. To develop a user profile, I visited the orkut profiles of lots of teenagers. Trust me theres lot you can gather about a species from their orkut profiles.
Google random people's names :) This is to be done at the height of boredom. I recently googled one particular person's name and stumbled upon this hilarious profile on a matrimonial site!
That brings me to the next point: Read profiles on matrimonial sites. From wanting a "proportionate girl" to wanting someone who can "lof" with the guy, its a range of interesting reads!!
Google: the most useful boredom buster! google up random topics like bipasha basu's dog's name for example and send the link to all your friends with a "did u know...?"
Read latest celebrity gossip: Who broke up with whom, who replaced whom in the movie, its a whole load of useless news.
You are at office and are really bored. Get into the elevator, ride down/up get out, get into the adjoining elevator and ride back. On the way look at people who are in the elevator with you and try n guess what they do, what they are thinking. Come back and compare notes with a jobless colleague.
And when you are mostest bored - read my blog.
Me too
After a long time of reading other people's blogs, I thought that its time for me to become a "me too." So..here I am...and here it is..my very own blog!
So why do people write blogs? and why do people read them? I know why I read them..I like to understand people and their psychology, their thoughts...its almost like falling into Dumbledore's pensieve. :) I think all of us face this question some time or the other in our lives:
Do other people also think like me? Have similar feelings, hopes, aspirations and dreams? If I am going through a rough phase, I get strength from reading the thoughts and feelings of others who have had similar experiences. Because even though at one level we know that everyone has similar thoughts and feelings, you want proof. You want to read someone's else's thoughts and say: " I soo understand that!" or "exactly"
Well, thats reason number one. The other reason is that here I am, doing my summer internship and finding myself jobless, time and again. And an idle mind, as they say, is the devil's workshop. So I thought, why not give the devil an outlet?
So, keep reading the devil's random thoughts :)
So why do people write blogs? and why do people read them? I know why I read them..I like to understand people and their psychology, their thoughts...its almost like falling into Dumbledore's pensieve. :) I think all of us face this question some time or the other in our lives:
Do other people also think like me? Have similar feelings, hopes, aspirations and dreams? If I am going through a rough phase, I get strength from reading the thoughts and feelings of others who have had similar experiences. Because even though at one level we know that everyone has similar thoughts and feelings, you want proof. You want to read someone's else's thoughts and say: " I soo understand that!" or "exactly"
Well, thats reason number one. The other reason is that here I am, doing my summer internship and finding myself jobless, time and again. And an idle mind, as they say, is the devil's workshop. So I thought, why not give the devil an outlet?
So, keep reading the devil's random thoughts :)
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